the gluten-free diet

As I am typing this, I am heaving a very large sigh.
I am gluten-free.
I have not been diagnosed by a doctor with a gluten allergy, but evidence quickly leads me to this particular conclusion.

The reason for my heavy sighs as of this particular moment, is because I took a chance.
I took a chance - and failed.
Kind of.

You see, I have been gluten-free for about a year and a half now, and I usually just don't eat any products that have gluten substitutes. (gluten free bread, baking products, etc. Except I eat so many gluten free cookies. so. many.)

So this past grocery trip, I decided I would go out on a limb and try some gluten substitute items.

Fun fact about me, I LOVE. and I mean LOVE, any kind of bread. Any type of food with bread in, on, or next to it interests me. Except too bad for me though because my small intestine sees gluten and is like, "Yeah, no way in hell, honey" - and I'll stop there.

So I miss my bread.

I got some gluten free English Muffins. Cue Card: MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM.
RIGHT!?

Except, wait.
Oh, SORRY. But the package failed to tell me that it would take me TWENTY MINUTES to separate ONE english muffin. ONE. ENGLISH. MUFFIN.

ONE.

So by the time I had my egg all fried and ready to hop into a warm and cozy english muffin, I was still battling the muffin on the counter (that I had just cleaned) and now there are crumbs everywhere and I just don't have the heart to exert any more effort.

So, now, the English Muffin has been thoroughly toasted, and I'm not hungry anymore. Because I was able to cook two whole fried eggs to put INSIDE of the muffin, before I was even able to separate the muffin.

THE END.
cooking sucks.

What's for lunch?

What's for lunch you ask?

Well, if you MUST know... THESE GUYS!

HA! JUST KIDDING! GOTCHA.
Anyways. I'm actually having a delicious salad at Panera. [Pause for a shoutout to the sweet old man next to me wearing a "STOP, FORREST, STOP" shirt. awwwwwww. Old people]

So... I know I haven't posted in a while. And honestly the only reason I am probably posting this right now is because of sweet Laura Ketola.

TIME OUT TO PROCRASTINATE ACTUALLY BLOGGING ABOUT MY MAIN POINT:
1. I am all for procrastinating
2. that is why I empathize with Laura's need to have something, ANYTHING on the internet to distract her from her actual studies.
3. Among such FABULOUS websites such as facebook and PINTEREST (which I am NOT addicted to... contrary to popular belief), I am proud that she would consider my inconsistent blog a stumbling block of the world wide web.
Thank you, Laura. I truly am honored.

OKAY BUT FOR REAL.
I AM SICK. This in an of itself is a misfortune.
HOWEVER. (catch up time) I live with 5 boys. And no, I am not talking about brothers or dads. I am talking about my 5, grown up, college boy, roommates.
Overall, I absolutely love living in a housefull of boys. There is hardly any drama, they are STILL under the impression that I can cook (I can't, but they make me feel better about that), and they also motivate me to clean...
[Side note; did you know that when boys miss the toilet, you have to clean the UNDERSIDE of the toilet!?!?! GAH. Who knew!?]
But one of the downfalls is this. It may be surprising to you, but I have an obsessions with not wearing clothes. I LOVE being stylish and having wonderful clothes, but when I am home, the pants and bra come OFF.
Now, I'm sure you can image what an uproar this would bring if I flung open the door, welcomed by a couch-full of boys drinking beer and playing Super Smash Brothers, and began to strip. NOT in the sexy way, mind you.
I believe this type of behavior would not be welcomed with open arms.

To conclude this sad little story, I have settled for locking my door, and THEN commence the pantslessness that I call my life. I feel imprisoned by my own need to not wear anything but a shirt. I can't even walk to the kitchen to get a glass of water or to start the coffee without putting on a bra. BUM. MER.

I can't think of any clever way to end this blog entry. So BYE, LAURS.

PS sorry for all the caps... I feel awkward now.

oh dad..

Sooo, not much has happened during day 2 of being mom, despite the one real-life tornado that I napped through. I guess it's a good thing when nothing happens worth blogging about.

Oh except for when I got in my bed last night. (exhausted, having only slept for a collective 7 hours ALL weekend. all. week. end. tired.) My nose then directed my attention to a certain potent and very disagreeable odor, which turned out to be a little "present" from the cats.

Please allow me to go off on a tangent at this particular moment. I hold a very strong opinion about cats. Basically, I believe that all cats are lazy, self-righteous, lacking in personality, and pretty much a waste of anyone's time, space, or breathing air.

That being said, I cannot tell you with written words how I felt upon discovering this. Lets just say the first words that came to my mind were not G-rated. I then took the opportunity to wash all my bedding. Isn't that completely normal? Washing sheets at such an ungodly hour?
...I double-washed just to be safe.

In other news, the weather has been testing everyone's limits today. Earlier today I was texting my dad (who is staying with his parents in Chattanooga), and our conversation went something like this:

dad: sitting in dark at mama and daddy's. storm hit sig mtn hard. prob no power for a couple days. lost 1 big oak and rv shed on garage. House is fine, send krystals.
me: ... are you asking for krystals hamburgers?
dad: The #1 combo would be fine: 4 krystals, fries and a diet coke.
me: ... I'll get that to you as soon as possible.
dad: Thx.

In case you have absolutely no sense of humor whatsoever, the irony in this conversation is that the only thing he wants is krystals. Not for the power to come back on, or even the revival of that big oak tree... just krystals.
I've debated sending that text conversation to crazythingsparentstext.com (which has been one of my most recent internet obsessions. You should check it out), yet I am still undecided.
-mom

update.

Dear Fellow Bloggers,

I'M BACK!

I have returned from my two month long Sabbatical (I can't tell you how long it just took me to spell that word). I know you all have been biting your fingernails and holding on to your horses just waiting for the day that I write a new post. Well, blogging world, today is your lucky day! (I would like to now give a shout-out to my two readers, HANNAH ZEHRING and LAURA KETOLA. love you guys).
Tons has happened since I last sat down to reveal all my secret thoughts. I am currently taking a semester off of school and trying to figure out where the heck to go from here. I am also living at home.
Which brings me to our next segment called:
THE PERKS OF BEING A LIVE-IN BABYSITTER/MOM
For those of you who are unaware, I am second in the lineup of a family with 6 kids. I am the oldest girl. This makes me very eligible for many things including the obvious: babysitter, cook (failure), maid, pep-talker, and all-around best daughter award. I have thus embraced these titles along with the not-so obvious such as: dance party organizer, nail-painter, boxcar derby maker, and an overall general encyclopedia.

My parents are out of town for the week, leaving my brother and I in charge of the pack. It's like herding sheep. Or giving a cat a bath. Nearly impossible.

Tonight's endeavors lead to the following:
1. dinner of chicken shaped like dinosaurs and volcano potatoes
2. dinner conversation convincing my 15 year old sister that she is adopted. from China.
3. an after dinner dance party accompanied by music from glee
4. which evolved into everyone leaving
5. and then me serenading my dog with Katy Perry's Teenage Dream.
6. then discovering my little sister armed with the phone and the yellow pages. not good.
7. then ALSO discovering my other little sister carrying around fingernail polish remover. without the lid. she is five. even more not good.
8. me reading goodnight moon.
9. me taking my sister's temperature because her belly button hurt... yeah. I know.

So far so good. Everyone is alive. No broken bones. No hurt feelings. No fevers (despite the belly-button scare). I think we might all survive this one.
Until next time,
mom (h.)

this night...

It's funny how a student can reach that one certain time (for me it is 1:46 on the dot) and realize that they ultimately have two options.

1. get in bed NOW and try to sleep.

now this option is tricky, because it is not always guaranteed that the student will actually FALL asleep. It is very likely that said student will simply lie in bed feeling guilty that they are no longer studying or doing whatever they really SHOULD be doing at that moment.

however, the second option is also tricky.
2. continue working.
the reason this option is equally tricky may have something to do with a little thing called an "all-nighter". This is a close friend to many students who either really have a ton to do, or just tend to procrastinate, like me.

I'm pretty sure it's safe to say that the work always ends up done, some way or another. Unfortunately for me, I realize that no amount of classical music will make me smarter or study better at this point.

So, I will continue studying. I will take my exams, perhaps with the help of a caffeinated drink or two, and I will survive. [hey... hey.......]

Yes... I know it's late.

a postcard from Bali

sometimes all you need to do is get away.



Bali would be nice.

Is it bad?

So I'm thinking it may be a bad sign if I'm already getting ready for Christmas. If I had it my way, I would have completely surrounded myself with Christmas decorations by now. Alas, I am but a poor college student and I have decided to settle on a Christmas-tree scented candle.

I was on the phone with my mom last night and she said she's excited to have me home for Thanksgiving. It was then that we realized we had both unconsciously taken a month off of November, thinking that next week is Thanksgiving. What is it about this time of year that makes weeks run together, holidays not come fast enough, yet are over before we know it?

How good it will feel to go home for maybe a couple hours, just to be crammed into the car again. Since the addition of my two lovely youngest siblings, we typically opt to take two cars on family vacations. Still, 8 people and a black lab the size of a large pony, plus luggage and our contributions to the family Thanksgiving pot luck dinners: always a large load. I can't imagine any other joy I would rather experience right now.

Of course Thanksgiving will always be the red-headed step child in comparison to the greatness that is Christmas. I'm sure my grandmother will continue her annual tradition of recruiting grandkids as troops in attempt to conquer WalMart every Black Friday at 5am. Seriously, she gives us stations. "You go stand by the GPS's... Yo go stand by the digital cameras..." It's intense. She could probably navigate around that store with her eyes closed.

Okay, so I guess Thanksgiving will be enough to tie me over for now. But you best believe that Christmas is always the icing on the cake. Until then, I will be ever hovering over my Balsam Fir Tree scented candle. Joy to the world :)